Every time I hear the advice to block out the same time every week for…just about anything…I have to admit I’m skeptical.
Sure, I block out Thursdays from 4:00-5:00 for home chores, but then a client project takes longer than I’d expected it to or my son gets sent home with a fever or a meeting gets pushed back an hour, and then boom, it’s the end of the day and the laundry is still sitting in the basket.
Same with exercise (though I’ve gotten a lot better about protecting my Tuesday and Thursday mornings for Body Pump at the Y!), and same with writing. I can block all the time I want on the calendar, but honoring it…that’s a whole ‘nother story.
I know a lot of this is about protecting boundaries and really internalizing the knowledge that writing is just as important as whatever else the day might throw at us. All valid, all true, and all things I tell my clients constantly (yet somehow struggle to embrace for myself).
But the reality is, for a lot of us, that kind of consistency just isn’t practical.
Some people have these magical, consistent schedules: Same start time. Same location. Same energy level. Same everything. Every day.
If that’s you, I love that for you.
If that’s not you? Hi, welcome — you’re in the right place.
When you’re a parent or a solopreneur or a shift worker or a homemaker or some combination of all of the above, consistency can feel really slippery. Some mornings you have energy. Some mornings you’re pouring cereal with your eyes closed. Some evenings you feel inspired. Some evenings you fall asleep on the couch at 8:13 p.m.
When this is the reality, the idea of “building a consistent habit” can feel impossible.
But it’s not impossible.
You just have to build different kinds of habits.
Think Rhythms, Not Routines
Routines are structured. Rhythms are flexible.
Routines say, “Write at 6 AM every day.” Rhythms say: “Write when the day gives you your first quiet pocket.”
Rhythms adapt. Routines break.
The Three Kinds of Habits Moms Need
When you’re thinking in rhythms, the urge to write isn’t cued by the clock but by circumstances. So it’s our job to create the circumstances that make it easy to slip into that writing space, even for just ten minutes. Even in the car. For easy peasy starters, try establishing these micro-habits to help build your own sustainable writing habit:
1. The anchor habit
This is the small, repeatable action that signals “it’s writing time.”
Lighting a candle. Opening a doc. Putting your phone on Do Not Disturb.
2. The pocket habit
This is writing in the slivers: carpool line, bath time, stir-the-pasta moments. Literally keep your writing in your pocket, whether that’s in a Google Doc you can access from your phone or in a tiny notebook, the more physically accessible your creative space, the more you’ll find yourself reaching for it.
3. The reset habit
This is how you start again after life derails you. (Which it will. Often.) Maybe it’s flipping to a new page and starting with a note to your notebook: “I know I’ve been gone a minute, but I’m back now! Here’s what you missed.” Maybe it’s a silly little reset dance. Maybe it’s simply giving yourself a creative mulligan. Whatever works for you, works. You just need a way to signal to your brain that the past is the past and it’s time to start fresh.
Small Habits Lead to Big Momentum
You don’t need thirty flawless days to build a habit. And requiring that of yourself is letting perfect be the enemy of good. Cutting off your nose to spite your face. Other cliches to say you’re getting in your own way.
All you really need is thirty messy attempts. Messy attempts are how you figure out what works for you and how real writing lives get built.
Habits that fit inside of our real lives have staying power, so let your habit be simple, flexible, and human.
If you want more encouragement and tiny creative practices that fit into unpredictable mom-life, download my free guide Authors with Crayons. It’ll help you build a writing rhythm that actually feels possible.